Can you save someone from themselves without losing yourself in the process?

Until the last couple years,  I believed that if I loved someone enough I could save them from harming themselves.  Now I know it’s not true but it took a hell of a lot of tears and a near breakdown for me to admit that to myself.  No amount of love and care in the world will stop a person who is hell bent on harming themselves whether through addiction, reckless behavior, or even suicide.  The despair that you feel deep in your soul when your loved one decides that they can no longer cope, is simply unbearable.  When you think about it, both of you are going through the same horrific pain.  Now the question is, will you be lost as well?

We can’t save the world.  It’s not our job to do so even though we get inundated through the media outlets that it’s our “duty” to do so, “one child at a time.”  Really?  Yes, it’s noble to donate to these causes but there has to be a limit.  When the help comes at the expense of your own physical and mental health, the price is way too high.  Of course, when you are faced with helping someone you love and helping yourself, the choice is made without question.  You will give and give until you are no longer able to give anymore.  Like the drowning victim, your loved one will cling to you, claw at you and beg you to help them keep afloat.  All the while you are being pulled under water for longer periods of time and then eventually left below the surface and forgotten.

You can try to rationalize it all you want but the fact remains if someone does not want to be saved, or just can’t see the light and love you offer to them, they will continue down that destructive path and take you with them.  Your pleas don’t always go on deaf ears.  They hear you, but some feel they don’t deserve your love or friendship and will keep pushing you away over and over.  Once they get through that period of darkness, they stay away for a bit, maybe even ignore you all together because they have dulled their pain with booze, drugs, or another lover.  Whatever the vice, it smoothed out the rough edges until it all wears off again and they come running back to you.  Even though they know they are ripping your heart out every single time, they still come back.  You are also a “drug” and help keep the cycle going.  By begging them to see the truth and to get professional help, you give them a lifeline once again.  And once again they toss it aside to cling to you.  Misery loves company.  No truer words have been written.

The greatest act of love in this situation, as painful as it will be, is to let them go.  Pray to the Goddess or whoever your higher power is that their path is clear and their pain eases.  Pull their arms from around your neck and push them clear so you can swim to the surface and breathe again.  You don’t have to say goodbye.  That is so final.  Take that love you feel for them and file it away in your heart with the promise that it will bloom when your paths cross again either in this lifetime or the next.

 Darkest Hour
 
The pain of a love lost yet again
Is all consuming and gut wrenching.
And yet we will continue to suffer through
And hold out all hope.
It seems never-ending
Until one day your heart finally listens to your head.
It’s time to close the door
And throw away the key.
Just in time because you’ve reached
The frayed end of your rope.

Even in that darkest hour
You still believe things could change.
He’ll come back,
Realize his mistake.
Beg you to listen to him
Pour out his pain and sorrow.
But before you know it
He is gone once again
Telling you he will call tomorrow.

In this your darkest hour
You finally see that tomorrow will never come
He will go back to the world he left you for.
Cutting you out once again,
Leaving you unable to ask why,
In shock, and numb.
In this your darkest hour
You finally see
He wants his cake and
He wants to eat it too.
He wants your support,
Understanding,
And unconditional love,
But never once will he
Return those things to you.

Instead he takes and takes and takes some more
Leaving you sobbing,
Heartbroken,
And waiting by the phone.
He returns over and over and over again
Claiming he still loves you.
But he instead leaves you bare
Battered and alone.

In this your darkest hour
Your eyes are wide open
And you finally see…
He will never love you as you love him,
Even when he pleads with you
On bended knee.
It’s all an act.
It’s all make believe.
It’s time for you to turn your back
And walk away.
No longer letting your heart be deceived.

In your darkest hour
You realize the truths you have ignored
Will truly be what sets your heart free.

In your darkest hour
You will find the peace and light
That will mend your soul.
The wounds laid open for months on end
Will begin to heal
And slowly allow you to become whole.

For now you can wake up from the nightmare
That you had convinced yourself
Was just a dream.
Now you can wake up to find
The one who will put you first,
Love, honor and cherish you…
He will be everything you need.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy
 1/23/2010
 2am
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Internet Piracy

Have you seen some of the personal websites advertising ebooks for dirt cheap?  Some offering them for a dollar or less?  I’m not talking about the sites who are licensed to do this, I am talking about people who buy these books themselves or have others so it and then make hundreds if not thousands of copies of them and then sell them.  These people feel that they can do this because they bought the original copy, but they are very wrong.  What they are doing is illegal.  They are stealing from the author and the publisher.  In some cases tens of thousands of copies of some titles are given away for a dollar each or even free.

I have been asked why do I care.  “Don’t you get an advance to write your books?”  NOPE!  As authors of ebooks, we get paid based on sales of our books.  You put in months and months into writing, editing and polishing up the final product only to have people steal it from you in the end.  For me just starting out, it’s frustrating to say the least.  Yes I work full time as a veterinarian now, but eventually I would like to write full time.  How can I be expected to make a living at it and pay my bills if someone is giving away my work for free?

Remember the whole uproar over Napster?  How the recording artists were up in arms that their work was being shared without compensation?  I remember people asking what those musicians were so upset about.  They couldn’t understand why a few downloads would make any dent in their profits.  Well, it’s not just a few downloads.  It’s millions of them all over the world and that all adds up.  Think about what you do for a living.  How would you feel at the end of each work day if everything you accomplished was credited to someone else? You would feel ripped off right?  Well so do the writers who find their works on these pirate sites.  Not only do we have to spend our valuable time looking for our works on these sites, we have to send them repeated take down notices.  If they are overseas they don’t give a shit what we ask.  They will keep doing it.

So it’s up to us as the consumers to stop searching for these sites.  Stop frequenting these sites.  If there isn’t a demand, they would be out of business.  If you go through the legal sites and through the authors websites, you can get great material and support your favorite writers and publishers.  The more support they have, the more books can be offered.  Think about it!

Hope Never Dies

Hope Never Dies

Listen to the bagpipes sing.

Let Freedom ring.

Hope is once again burning bright.

Finally a heinous wrong

Has been made right.

Mother Earth has heard our prayers.

She sent Karma and the SEALS

To deal with the cause

Of all our tears.

We’ve waited a decade

For justice to prevail,

While those responsible taunted and teased

That in all we would fail.

The War on Terror will never be done.

There will always be someone

Calling us the “Evil One.”

Spoiled children is all that they are.

They can’t get their way,

So they will push and push until

Finally they go to far.

Enough is enough.

It is time to cut the head off the Viper

For far too long

We’ve taken the strikes from this Beast.

It’s time to pay the Piper.

Lady Karma remembers all

And when the time is right,

She’ll make sure

Those who have wronged would fall.

She plays no favorites…

That much is true.

For what you put forth…

Good or Bad…

She brings times three back to you.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy

7:30am

5/2/2011

The morning after Osama Bin Laden was killed.

The Love That Binds

The Love That Binds

Have you found that one heart that calls out to you?
Are they always there in your mind?
When the mundane tasks of life hide them from view,
Do you long for the love that binds?

When you’ve given your all and can give no more,
Do you feel safe and secure with the one you are with?
Do you long for the smile that melts you to your very core,
Or have you convinced yourself that kind of love is just a myth?

When life beats you down and you feel lost and alone,
Do you turn to the one who to you is rarely kind?
Do you desire the one who’s heart you still own?
Do you long for the love that binds?

In your darkest hour can you hear your true love call to you,
Or have you let the hardships of life close off your mind?
Can you take a chance and believe what has always been in view?
Will you finally reach out and take the hand
Of the one with the love that binds?

©Tammy Dennings Maggy
1/20/2011

Lover’s Triads

Lover’s Triads

It always begins with that first touch,
Shake of the hand, nod of the head,
The melody of the child’s laughter
We all love so much.
A friendship is born.
A lifelong partnership begins.
Bonds formed during childhood torn
So that those of star crossed lovers can win.

The seed was sown in the past long ago;
It will bear fruit that can now be savored…
In a way we all hope and pray to know.
The promise of love never ending,
Brightens the darkness that shrouds
Our hearts and casts it full of woe.

A new love bursts forth as a young Maiden
Innocent and pure…
Until she finds love’s first kiss.
The Mother nurtures that love
Through their child nursing at their breast.
And on her face one can see
Pure, unadulterated bliss.
The Eternal Flame continues to flourish
Through the years well into their twilight days.
And can be witnessed through the eyes
Of the Wise and Weathered Grandmother
Humming lullabies…
Passing on the Ancient Ways.

As always the cycle remains the same.
The new love once born
Needs to be tended with care.
As it grows and changes
We learn it’s not all fun and games.
But if we have faith and endure
The fantasy will be the reality
That only two hearts can share.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy
04/02/2011 9am

Moon and Stars

Moon and Stars

Mother Moon, please grant me this wish,
That the one who holds my heart
Would one day yearn for me and my kiss.
Sister Stars, help me plead my case.
What can I do to make him see
That his search can be over in my embrace?
Why does my heart burn
For one who cannot see?
Why does he believe
The love of strangers over me?

Mother Moon and Sister Stars,
Guide me on my path
To find a love heartfelt and true…
Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me what to do…
I’m good enough to keep him warm
On cold winter’s nights,
But fall short when considering
A mate, a lover or a wife.

Should I stay the course and hope
One day his heart will finally see…
That the life he’s been dreaming of…
Searching for…
Is right here with me?
Should I let my dream go?
Let my heart try to mend?
Accept the fate dealt to me…
And the loneliness that never ends?

Mother Moon and Sister Stars,
Guide me in one last Dance.
I offer all I have…
All that I am…
For one last chance.
Tonight I bare my soul
For the one who’s arms
I long to be in at every breaking dawn.
Help me plead my case,
My life, and my love.
Show him that I am
And forever will be…
His only one.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy
8pm 4/7/2011

Welcome to my blog!

Here you will find the listing of the various blog entries throughout this site that are about any topic other than my Now and Forever series.  Hopefully I will be able to have a few guest bloggers in from time to time as well. Wouldn’t that be fun!  Please be patient with me if I end up having several posts in more than one category.  Eventually I will get it right!