REVISITING Common Sense Etiquette Rules for Guest Appearances on Blogs

As you can guess from the title of today’s post, I’ve run across even more instances where authors are behaving badly. In some cases it’s not intentional. Life definitely does get in the way at times and destroys our carefully plotted out schedules, but other times…well, there is just no excuse for rude, inconsiderate behavior.  One of my biggest pet peeves since I’ve entered into the publishing world and the vast blogosphere is how some folks handle guest appearances on another blog.

One would think that if an author requests a spot they would have visited the blog/website and see if they would be a good fit there BEFORE they request and secure a date. Well, this has become a HUGE problem as of late with a few of my adult blogs and even my PG rated ones. It looks like what’s happening is that a potential guest sees a posting somewhere that another author/blogger has openings for guest spots. Instead of checking out the site first, they immediately sign up for their preferred dates only to check out the site much later. This is usually around the time the the deadline for turning in their materials is at hand. NOW they decide they are uncomfortable with the rest of the subject matter on the blog in question.

Sending an email to the blog owner a day or two before your post is to go live after you’ve had TWO MONTHS to figure it all out really doesn’t put you in a very good light. I’m not upset that you don’t want to be associated with erotica or erotic romances. I’m a bit miffed that you waited so long to figure it out when all the guidelines are clearly posted on the blogs and the email sent to you clarifying the dates explained in great detail what is expected of a guest on my blogs.  One of my adult sites is booked two to three months in advance, with a list of those willing to take any spot that suddenly opens. It’s not only a little rude to me and my fellow blog owners to take a spot that you really shouldn’t have, but it’s disrespectful to the others waiting patiently for their turn.

As one of my fellow Siren authors has said on many occasions, “You are not a special snowflake.” ~Tyber Dalton

None of us are. We all have real life intruding on our writing schedules, juggle evil day jobs, families, and households to run and still have to find time to put together our own blog posts before setting up the guest spots. That’s why we write the guidelines to help all parties involved put out the best post we can together. The whole point of offering our blogs up to other authors is to HELP them promote themselves and their work. An added bonus is that it brings more traffic to our pages and both of us gain new fans and friends.

So why on earth would you want to mess that up by not doing your homework first?

I’m not picking on those authors who don’t write erotica or erotic romance by any means. I’ve had problems with those in the “non erotic” genres actually request to be on my adult blogs because a) they liked the names of those blogs better than the PG ones, b) they want to appeal to a more adult crowd even though their books are clearly for the young adult crowd, or c) they WANT to be associated with the “cool” crowd and say their books are erotic and really they aren’t even close.  As you can guess, the last excuse really burns my britches.

If you want to write erotica an erotic romance then Do. It. Stop trying to turn your book with one or two barely sensual scenes into something it’s not. If you want the label, you better add the heat or you will be laughed at by readers who are looking for the explicit details you’ve left to the imagination.  The same can be said for readers who want to feel all risque and tell folks they are reading erotica when in actuality they wouldn’t be able to finish the first chapters of many of the best selling erotic romance authors out there…the REAL ones who have many, many books under their belts. Those who’ve earned those labels and didn’t have them handed to them by the media.

Back to the topic at hand…

Do yourself a favor. The next time you see a posting somewhere about available guest spots, take the few extra moments to visit the blog and read through it. Take a look at several of the posts there to get an idea what is expected of you. If the guidelines say “No straight promo,” then by golly be sure you send them more than just promotional materials for your new release. If you’re unclear of what you need to do, ASK before you finalize any dates. If you can’t figure it out from the guidelines, the posts of other guests and repeated emails from the blog host, then you should graciously back out and give the spot up to someone who can figure it out.

Meet all deadlines. If you have a problem and are unable to get your post to the host on time, then let them know. You can be rescheduled for a more convenient time for both of you. Don’t leave the blog owner with an empty spot when they were counting on you  to fill it.

Don’t be a DIVA! You are the one who asked for a spot on the blog. It doesn’t matter to me or anyone else that you have 17 books published since 1985 if you can’t follow simple, detailed instructions. We are not forcing you to be a guest on our sites. If you don’t wish to be, then don’t ask in the first place. You are not doing anyone any favors by acting as if you are the one being inconvenienced.  Oh and you might not want to slam your perspective host’s genre by calling it “blatant porn.” That’s just a tad tacky. LOL!

Lighten up! Have fun with guest spots on other blogs and in turn invite them to be guests on yours. We need to bond together more instead of tear each other down. I’m guilty of it from time to time as well. Let’s all promise to move forward and lift each other up instead of tear each other down.

Who’s with me?

~Tammy

@dochappycamper Explains How Finding Your #Erotic Niche Isn’t Selling Out

Yesterday an author created a bit of an uproar over a blog post she did about “selling out” and compromising her principles when she turned to writing erotic romance.  She was upset by the fact her debut erotic romance made money hand over fist compared to the series she wrote in her chosen genre of urban fantasy.

SavatoreVuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
SavatoreVuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As many of you know, I’m a big proponent of authors helping authors and one to call bullshit when I see it. It’s bad enough when media and readers treat authors of the adult genres poorly, but now there’s a growing number of authors who’ve made it their mission to trash those of us who choose to write explicit material. Some have gone as far to say they were “forced” to write erotic romance in order to make more money and then decide to take it upon themselves to try to change the genre to conform to their “moral outlook.”

Well, you have a HUGE fight on your hands, chippy. I won’t sit back and let you take MY chosen genre and turn it into something from the past. Long gone are the days the love scenes fade to black and leave everything behind closed doors. Gone are the days where flowery purple prose are used to describe sexual encounters.  GONE are the days where authors are slapped for using the “street terms” for genitalia. Just because you cringe every time you read or hear the word CUNT doesn’t mean the rest of us do.  Get over yourselves!

For more of my opinion, please stop in to my sister blog Sassy Vixen Publishing. As The Vixen I took on this topic and a bit more.   Click HERE to go to the post.

My question to those authors and readers who are offended by the explicit language used in erotica and erotic romance is this:  why do you write/read it? Stick with the genres you love the most and stop bashing mine. More importantly, stop trying to change it into something you’re comfortable reading/writing just because you want to jump on the erotica fun train.

~Tammy

@DianeRinella and Her #MatchMaker Site for #Authors and #Bloggers

Hello my lovelies! I’m excited to announce a brand new site set up by author Diane Rinella. It’s sort of like an match maker site where authors and bloggers can post a little bit about themselves and their work and let folks know what books they write or are willing to review. It’s a way for people to set up blog tours and guest spots between authors and bloggers who have the same interests.

As someone who writes erotica and erotic romance, most of my blog space has been devoted to the adult genres. Unfortunately there have been a few authors who’ve signed up for spots on one or more of my adult blogs, only to back out at the last minute because they’re uncomfortable being associated with the more adult themes.  Well, just having very specific and explicit guidelines posted on my blogs hasn’t been enough to stop this sort of thing. I’ve even had people outright accuse me of not informing them of the adult content on my blogs.

Yes. You read that right. I was just as shocked as you are now. I’m not sure how much more I can do to avoid issues like that, but Diane’s site is definitely a helping hand. She set up an event on Facebook where she talks about what information she needs from authors and bloggers wishing to be listed on her site, Author and Blogger Exchange.

Authors? Look at the top of my site in the menu tabs. See the one marked NOVELS OF THE NOW AND FOREVER SERIES? If you click on that, it will take you to the page I set up to get summaries of the first two books of that series and in addition, I’ve included links to the first chapter of each book. Only through those links can you access those chapters. Now if a perspective blogger/reviewer  is interested, they click on those links to investigate a bit further. If they are sure they want to read the book in exchange for a review, or would like to invite me to share my book and my work on their blog, then they send me and email. It’s that simple.

I can search for bloggers and reviewers on Diane’s site too. It makes things a hell of a lot easier and there aren’t any misunderstandings. We start off on the same page right from the start.

So go ahead and check out the Facebook page and the Author and Blogger Exchange. You’ll be glad you did!

~Tammy