If you’ve ever been curious by kink or bondage, you’re not alone. With the mainstream popularity of books like Fifty Shades of Grey and the introduction of kinky characters on television programs such as CSI, more and more average Joes and Janes are beginning to explore the world of kink and bondage. BDSM isn’t simply a new trend to follow, however, because it can be a great way to explore your fantasies and heat things up in the bedroom and in your relationship.
Whether you’ve been toying with the idea of incorporating BDSM in your relationship or recently became intrigued in kink, adding a bit of bondage can provide much needed intensity and passion to your partnership. This inevitably can make you feel closer to your partner(s). Although it can be intimidating , BDSM exploration can be an exciting adventure with a little communication, honesty, and an open mind. Here are a few tips on how to gently integrate this erotic practice into your relationship.
Talk It Over
Communication is key to any relationship, regardless of how you and your partner interact sexually. When you’re dipping into the world of bondage and kink, however, it’s even more important that you maintain a clear line of communication. Start off by discussing what it means to be in a BDSM relationship. Make sure that you are both on the same page when it comes to understanding the full terms of what this will involve along with which type of acts you’re willing to get test out.
Remember to discuss the different roles and what they mean—along with who is comfortable taking on each role. Do a little research and find out exactly what this lifestyle entails. It’s also crucial that you figure out what your limits are and determine which BDSM activities you’ll incorporate in your sex play and which you’ll leave out. How submissive will you or your partner be? How dominant? Will you indulge in kinky bondage toys like blindfolds, handcuffs, or other restraints? Bottom line, before you even begin your BDSM adventure, make sure you and your mate are on the same page and desire the same kind of kink.
Start off Slowly
Once you and your partner have an understanding of the ground rules for your BDSM relationship, So Feminine suggests easing into bondage by incorporating certain aspects of it into your relationship. Begin by including master/slave roles in your regular sex regimen. Assign names to each other, introduce light restraints like a scarf or neck tie, and gradually introduce a small amount of pain.
This can also mean using the sex toys that may already be part of your play time—or going bigger and rougher. As displayed on Adam and Eve, there’s much more out there than the straightforward dildo you’re already using. It can be replaced with something thicker, longer, or used for other means (anal, oral). Incorporate one of these different devices into your normal sex routine and, if you’re both feeling comfortable, mix it up by switching roles or by making the item the focus of the domination aspect. In other words, whoever holds the dildo is in control.
As you learn what you like and don’t like, you’ll find out if you want to boost the intensity or reduce it–remember, a healthy BDSM relationship is one where the sub is comfortable with the submissive role and the dom feels confident as master. Even if you already have established sexual boundaries, your limits may evolve as you delve deeper into BDSM. Don’t be afraid to explore, but do remember to take your time.
Push the Envelope
As you continue your BDSM adventure, try to include more and more elements of bondage when you play. Begin by investigating what bondage and kink products are out there and how they can enhance your BDSM lifestyle. When you’re ready, invest in a bondage kit for beginners or collect some BDSM essentials. Don’t forget to actively play your BDSM roles through name calling and donning outfits that fit in with the BDSM theme. Test the limits of your new “relationship”, but be respectful of your partner’s personal wishes. Maintain open communication and check in with your him or her throughout your initial bondage encounters. Remember, BDSM should turn you both on and assist in making your relationship better, so don’t go any further if it feels forced and/or isn’t pleasurable.
Until next time
~Tammy
Behind Closed Doors 
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